To Love And To Hate
by Nermir
Summary: Rules are made for a reason, and there are never exceptions. The actions of a Jedi and Civilian in the early days of the Jedi Order lead to the 'one is not allowed to love' rule, the first real conflict within the Order and one of the first Sith Lords.
1. Sensual Visions

**Comments from the Author:**

This is my first fanfiction I have ever written. Stories, I write, but never fanfiction. I feel it destroys a plot line of something someone worked hard to build. But now I realize it adds a little fun to a story. More like an "untold" story of a story.

I chose to write a Star Wars fanfiction because I know that there is so much left out and the Galaxy is obviously huge, so I am able to write a story that isn't contradicting or even retelling that of Luke and Leia or Padme and Obi-Wan. But I had to decide what I should write it about. I was thinking maybe something along the lines of KOTOR I or II, but that seems to be overdone, with the "Exile" and all though I still may write on, so if you end up liking this story, please look out for that one or my others. So I stuck with the movie genre. And then I thought: "Where did that stupid love rule come from, anyway?" And that's what we are going to find out.

**Why an M rating?**

Because my story will start getting into some graphic content, in sexual nature, violent nature, and some strong language occasionally. I can say, however, that the sexual nature will not go too far, though there will be a hint at intercourse many times, and it will happen, though not too much graphically.

**Disclaimer**

I do not own the Star Wars logo or Lucasfilm Ltd. and those, along with all names that might be mentioned from those movies, books, etc., and any other Star Wars related ideas or items are registered trademarks and/or copyrights of Lucasfilm Ltd. or their respectable trademark and copyright holder, including the Authors of the books.

I can, however, say that this story is of my own work, therefore if anyone steals it, I will hunt you down. Aaliexandria and any other made up character is of my creation. The plot line, and all dialogue and written action is also of my creation. Therefore, it is all my proper.

I do not own, moderate, or am an admin of I merely use it to post my stories. Thank you.

**Last remarks**

Enjoy the story!

**I now present, _To Love And To Hate_.**

* * *

**Chapter One**

**Sensual Visions**

**"There is no passion; there is peace. There is no ignorance; there is knowledge. There is no chaos; there is harmony. There is no death; there is the Force. Can any of you explain to me what the force is?"**

A child of six rose his hand, and Aaliexandria pointed to him.**"It's…it's a field…around all of us…all living things, and…and—oh! It binds everyone together…it is life and life makes it!"** The boy spoke fast and excitement clouded the understanding of the words spoken.

The woman ended up laughing quietly. She could not understand this little boy to save her life! **"Thank you, youngling. Does anyone else want to give it a shot? No? Alright then, you may go into the next room and watch some of the Padawans train for a Master." **

Cheers rang out and younglings, all fifteen of them, got up and ran towards the door behind them the group. **"Walk, now. Walk!"** A laugh was admitted again as Alexandria, a Jedi Master herself, slowly shook her head.

Oh, how would she like to have one of her own a child, that is. Lexi knew that every woman here, Jedi or not, wants a child and family in some part of their life…but the Council seems to be debating about that idea. _'Yes, we shall teach the Force to others, but there must be rules, and regulations, there must be standards. This is something that's not to be trifled with. If this got into the wrongs hands…' 'The wrong hands? Aniren…the Force is everywhere, in everyone…You cannot simply deny it to a person, they would die. The Force is life and life makes the Force.'_

The arguments, the meetings, the rules…It was chaos and maybe it was not a good idea for them to have gotten together. It has been nearly sixty-eight years, apparently, since the Order first met. Aaliexandria is among the third generation to have joined, at a rather young age of 27, becoming a Master, too. The Force was relatively new, though hermits in the outer rim used it quite often. The problem with the Order is the rules it will set up. Lexi was at her first meeting when she was only five and a half years old, when her grandfather brought her. It was then that they decided to "train" people in this "Force".

Now…however…they were making standards. And according to these standards, the Jedi, as they were named, were not allowed to have a life. And that is what Aalexandria is fighting for. The chance to live and have a family while still being able to do good and help people. It was possible…and she knew it. It was just a matter of convincing the other Masters of her plan. **"Markus, I shall be meditating in my chambers. Come and seek me if anything important arises."**

Finally…a chance to rest. Real rest. Sleep. Okay, so she said that she was going to meditate, but sleeping was a deeper form a meditation, no? Reaching her room, Lexi closed the door and slipped off the heavy robes she was given today. The new uniform. **"'Modest, humble and serene…that is how the Order of the Jedi shall dress, eat, act, and live',"** Aaliex repeated, having heard this from Master Daren hundreds of times. Suddenly she giggled and slowly shook her head, though a sense of guilt came over here.

Maybe she should meditate…it would be good. Great, actually. It was rather calming…and…Aw, Hell, she'll just do it. The female's fingers delicately undid her tunic and slipped out of that and her pants, leaving her in her undergarments as she stared at the full length mirror in front of her. She was relatively attractive for a female human. Tall, grey eyes, brown hair, a good sized chest, and most importantly, toned. She worked with sabers, and dance training—something that helped with the gracefulness of battling with a lightsaber.

Brushing some brunette locks from her eyes, she gave a sigh and kneeled onto the floor, her hands coming up together, palm to palm out in front of her chest, her head bowed and eyes closed. _Okay…breathe…just breathe…and…don't think about anything…that is simple. Don't think. Okay…_

_…………_

_…how do I not think? Arg, I knew this was going to be hard…_

It was nearly fifteen minutes later and Lexi was in this state of mind…calm and passive, and simply thinking about nothing. Images whizzed past and it was like she was watching a movie that had no plot line. She was watching the Force and becoming one with it. That was when, deep in the crevasse of her mind, she heard a moan. The eyes under Aaliexandria's lids fluttered slightly, but she did not break from this trance.

This time when a picture came into her mind, it seemed almost real; it stayed there, too, and played all the way. It wasn't like the snippets and bits that had appeared before and also the last time she meditated which was probably when she was 13.

Two bodies were pressed up against each other, a male and female. Moans and whispered sounded, breathes of exhaustion but pleas of continuing. It was all very sensual and Lexi still did not awaken from this…in fact, she was drawn to it. She still had yet to see who these two were, but she could certainly hear that it was all very pleasurable. Lips upon the neck of the female, and a sigh of content was brought forth, while her hands traced up the back of the man, only to end on the back of his head while his lips made a trail down, and began caressing her chest. Moans and entanglement of hushed sentences were brought forth while—

**"Master Lexington. The other Masters…they need you."** Markus knocked on the metal door once more, repeating what he had said. Aaliex was in a sweat and breathing heavily. **"Markus! I will be out in a minute! Can't anyone get a good mediation around here?"** That was not what she was worried about though…she really wanted to continue to see what she was seeing and figure out who it was. It was so _real_. Lexi had heard of visions, things set in the future, but what of this? With a sigh of irritation, her grey eyes moved about the room as she got back into her pants and tunic. Now, however, she has a Council meeting to attend to.


	2. To Love Is To Live

**Recap:**

We find out in Chapter One: Sensual Visions, is that Aaliexandria, a faithful Jedi Master of the Order which was established only decades before, believes that members of the Order should be able to have a real life. Meaning, they should be allowed to love and have a family. When she went back to her room to meditate, she had a vision of two people, something very sexual, and wonders what it means. Markus, a Jedi Knight, was sent to Lexi's room by the Council to tell her that the Masters are having a meeting and she must attend.

* * *

**Chapter Two**

**To Love Is To Live**

_There are going to be three structures to the Jedi Order. Knowledge, for that is something that can change a battle in an instant. The Force, something that every living thing has and that ties in with Knowledge...one must study the Force to fully understand what it is capable of. And lastly, Self-Disciplin. Without that, one could weild the Force in a most dangerous way and it could lead to corruption.._

Aaliexandria walked slowly down the halls of the Jedi Temple, not paying much attention to anything. The vision she had back in her chambers consumed her and she wanted to know more. Of course it was rather sensual, but why would she see it if there was not going to be a reason for it? Biting down on her bottom lip, foot steps came running down the hall towards her. **"Master Aaliexandria! Master!"** Markus stopped in front of her she Lexi looked up, halting.

**"Well...?"** She asked, with a hint of a smile on her face. Markus tended to do this. Get so excited that he just plain forgets what he is going to say. **"Oh! Oh yes! The Masters...they are becoming impatient."**

Lexi slowly shook her head. **"If they wanted me so badly, they would have scheduled this meeting when I was not meditating. Tell them I will be along."** Markus nodded and turned on his heel to run off. The woman laughed and leaned against the wall. She disliked collared people. That is what she called them, collared. People who are whipped and do whatever it is the higher ones wanted. They were unofficial slaves, and Aaliex could not understand as to why they would willing run around like that. It was pathetic.

**"Are we having second thoughts on accepting the invitation to become a Jedi Master?"** The voice that spoke was somewhat mocking, but friendly nonetheless. And Aaliexandria knew exactly who it was.

"**Xendor. It has been a while,"** As she said this, she approached the dark-haired man and embraced him. **"Did the mission turn out for the better?"**

Xendor, a man of 33 and still in his prime, smiled almost wryly at his friend, his arms moving back around her. **"After the Queen stopped shooting at us, yes. We dropped down in onto the planet only to find out that the monks wore the same robes as us, and therefore the Queen though we were the monks. That Civil War almost destroyed the planet."** Xendor laughed, however, his blue eyes full of amusement.

Pulling away from him, Aaliex tugged on the sleeve of his robe and started pulling him along. **"Well come on, Master Xendor,"** It was mocking, the way she said it. **"We have a meeting to attend to."**

* * *

**"And so the last moment, I used a Force field to surround the monks and to protect the Queen. While they were stopped, we disarmed them of their weapons and the two groups were able to have a meeting without killing each other; Ultimately, the planet is free of war and both sides agreed on an outcome."** Xendor looked across the room towards Aaliex and winked at her, smiling.

**"Thank you, Xendor, for ending that conflict. Now, for the main reason this meeting was called. We all know the Order is relatively new, and with an Order, there needs to be rules, and structures. Josi already stated before that he shall select Jedi Knights and teach them in the ways of Knowledge. They will be our librarians. The keepers of the Jedi Archive. They will also write the rules to the Order, which we shall discuss right now."** Master Arkani said, sitting in his position in the center of the five individuals that were dubbed the Council of the Jedi Order. **"One thing that has been debated is the freedom to make a family."**

Aaliexandria groaned inside, knowing she was the only reason that the rule was not set in stone just yet. The entire Council had to agree. But she stood with her choice, whether it caused delay in the making of the rules. Standing, she gave an audible sigh and smiled just slightly. **"I believe that, yes, we do have the ability to help people, but it should not be our entire life. We should be able to have family and love. It is only natural and I find it difficult to agree with the Council if they would so deny that freedom to the members."**

**"Have you,"** Master Aniren asked, **"Fallen in love, Aaliexandria? Is that why you wish to inforce that belief?"**

She really wanted to just shake some sense into this man. He seemed almost oblivous to things. **"No, Master Aniren. I have not. But that does not mean I _should_ not."** Aaliex casted a glance towards Xendor, who was looking at the floor, deep in thought. If anyone would help it, it sure as Hell would be him.

It was then that Arkani spoke up once more. **"The reason the rest of us find it difficult for one who is going to dedicate his or her life to the Order to be able to love it just that. They have dedicated his life to the Order. Not to love. Not to family. Furthermore, such passion as love in your heart could lead to the Dark Side. Passion leads to anger, we already discussed that."**

**"The _wrong_ passion leads to anger, Arkani. A lust for war and power, yes...but not a soft feeling such as love. Besides, the Dark Side is all in your mind."** Lexi was notorous for being one to debate fierily.

**"We do not have time to argue such antics. We will have to continue this discussion later. In the mean time, the planet of Adega has been cutting off trade routes for many of the surrounding planets, complaining about not getting a fair deal in said trades. The thing that confuses us is how Force Sensitive that planet seems to be. This time we shall send a Knight and his padawan to the planet to invesitigate further."** Aniren finished up and nodded his head firmly.

Arg! How can this situation be more important than their discussion! Biting down on her lip to hold in her anger, she sat down and began counting to ten in her head. Xendor leaned over and whispered in her ear. **"Do not worry about it. They realize you are right but they just worry too much, is all."** While he said that, the Council dismissed and Lexi stood up.

**"They will not agree with it, though! I mean...how can they deny someone life? I can always twist their words and say they are denying them the Force, but I'm not like that. I just...I do not see what is so wrong about falling in love. It surely will not lead to "the Dark Side"."** She threw her hands up in the air, rolling her eyes, her tone mocking.

Xendor laughed quietly and brought his friend in an embrace. **"You need to get out more often. Come, let's go to the nightclub and listen to some of the music and get a few drinks."**

Aaliexandria pushed Xendor away from her, laughing. **"You just want to watch the Twi'Leks dance!"** She said accusingly.

**"But with my only friend! So it works out nicely, no?"** Xendor laughed once more and put his arm around Aaliex's shoulders, dragging her towards the door. **"Now come. I was not kidding when I said you need to get out more often...because you do."** With that, the two left the Council chambers for one of Coruscant's many nightclubs.


End file.
